Insomniac...

My baby Keeper

crawled in to the bed with me this morning at 2 a.m.

proceeded to flop like a flounder for two hours

before he was

taken screaming back to his room where

his father slept beside him on the floor for a half hour before making it back to our bed...

By now of course....

I am wide awake.

The hamster in my brain has started to run his little treadmill,

So I just decided to get up...

work on my

Studio Space?

(which is really just the corner of a tiny bedroom)

Sit here contemplating

a sort of midlife crisis

like I have been for weeks now?

Much better way to exhaust myself I think!

Have you ever hit the point where you

feel you just have to stand up for

what you know is right?

Even if it may not have a "prudent" or "responsible" outcome

in others eyes?

Because it would just give you the pleasure of knowing you did something

to make yourself truly Happy for a change?

I've always been told if you don't try you will regret it

or 

that experience ,

even if in failure is better than having never tried.

I feel like I need to get

ME and MY Family

in a good place mentally and somewhat physically.

Stop being a slave to people who really don't

care about you other than you make their life easier.

A house and storage space full of THINGS

that don't make us happy.

If I had the time I could dump

it all.

When I'm not working

I tend to lose weight - a lot-

does that tell me I'm an emotional eater or what?

Could I try that venture to make money from what really makes me happy?

Live off some savings and sales from the online business?

I can very easily do temporary work if need be...

Then I feel a pang of guilt because I

think of folks who have sooo much less 

and would love to have my "problems"

But should I discount my feelings and stay miserable and sleepless because of it?

Ughhh.

Just keeping it real with everyone.

I'm my usual bounce back self

but I want to be the 

SHINY

GLOWY

version of me that I know I can be....

Ever have one of these nights?

Weeks?

I'm sorry for the ramble but I  needed it.....