Tuesday, March 13, 2012

New Times.....

Sitting here with my coffee ...
reflecting on the last few years and where they have led our family.
They have been difficult
but have changed our outlook on life in a number of ways.
We have definitely had judgement passed on our situation and personal choices.
A very wise teacher once said to me when I was a teenager
 that before you judge or make assumptions about people
you should always remember that you don't know
what their real life is like.
You don't know what their experiences have been.
That has stayed with me maybe more than anything else I learned in school.
I would love for people to step back and take a moment
to think about the things they assume about people.
"She is such a pain when she comes over-I don't want to deal with her, ugh!"
I used to hear people say things like this
all the time.
One day I decided I was going to not let this person ruin my morning.
After I let the wall down-
(that she was going to be annoying no matter what)
I spent time really trying to get the person to open up
This person was such a PAIN
because she was really scared deep down.
Once I tapped into that realization it changed all together how I dealt with his person.
"I just can't understand why he is so unfriendly, I have tried to talk to him
but we get nowhere. he is just a jerk."
Sometimes people have such inner struggles they only let in a very few
people into their lives.
Issues with trust usually have a reason behind them.
I think what I am trying to say is
You don't have to push people to be what you think they should be.

I had to accept a long time ago that not everyone thinks like me.
If all our friends and family were the same how boring would that be?
I have the one friend who is ALWAYS late.
A great person who would do anything for you but will be about 15 min late to help you.
One friend who is honestly eternally a 17 year old boy...
Another great person who is just enjoying his earlier years waay too much to step into
adulthood yet.
(BUT - he lost his dad when he was a teenager . Backstory?)
 One friend who can't say no.
Mother to all, will do anything for you, and gives her heart 100% to everything she does.
Growing up
she had nothing and had no help.
She is not starved for attention or Mrs. Perfect
she sometimes to her own peril can't stop giving because she wished someone
had been that way for her growing up.
One friend who really doesn't talk much and may take YEARS for him to
really warm up to anyone.
Do you know what his childhood was really like?
Not everyone grew up with Mr. and Mrs. Brady.
Maybe he never really learned the social skills that some of us did
and maybe he guards his heart so strongly that rarely anyone gets close to it
so he won't get hurt.

I know we as individuals have been misunderstood
so we should give others the same consideration.
 Just take a moment to think about how YOU treat people
and the judgements you pass.
You may gain a whole new insight into your world
and it could become such a better place to live.

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